How NOT to Spray Paint Like an Asshole

You can google how to spray paint and get about eleventy billion search results. Most of them are going to be the same shit, different font. I spray painted a table for my cloffice (closet office) over the weekend and thought I'd share what I learned.

 

1: Get your crap together

The last thing that needs to happen mid project, is a trip to ye ole box store. I suggest wearing a mask while spray painting. Unless you dig black lung, you'll need this.   Other things are, sander deglosser, sandpaper, primer, spray paint and some sort of sealant.   If you don't want spray paint on your hands ( you should be wearing gloves to protect that mani anyway), have arthritis, or just like buying gadgets, buy your sweet self a spray paint handle -- It also prevents you from getting a rather large case of "the claw" <---what happens to my hand after long term spraying. Rawr.

2: Get Preppy

Clean the object. This means soap and water and some sort of lint free cloth. Wipe. The. Whole. Thing. Down. Then let it dry. Completely. A lot of people sand. I use the sanding deglosser stuff and sand in between spray coats. I hate sanding. Sometimes it is necessary, sometimes not. You make the call! Wipe again after either method.

3: Prime Time

4-6". Ladies I know we have a hard time with this. We have been consistently lied to for eons over what 6 inches actually looks like. Get a ruler, a measuring tape, etc., find 6 inches and study. Throw rocks at husband. Just kidding. 4-6" is the magic distance between your primer hand and the object you are spraying. Any farther away and you'll be painting for the next 2 years and any closer, the paint could run. Do NOT skip primer. It covers a multitude of sins. Cover the object completely with primer. Let dry. Drying times vary. Read the can and check your surroundings. A light sanding after this is advisable. Wipe down with a damp cloth after. If it looks good to you, screw it, move on.

4: Add Some Color Up in Here

Again with the 4-6". Cover the whole project with a light coat. Build up to the color by doing multiple light coats, long even strokes. Do not get crazy with your can here. Believe me, this is way better than drips and dribbles. 

5: Protect it and Do NOT Touch it.

No, you may not need it, but you've come this far, done this much -so why not preserve it? Get out your water based poly acrylic and do work. Spray that sucker down so you can enjoy it for much longer. Now leave it alone. For 72 hours. Yes, 72 hours. It will be nice and hardened by then and way less likely to scratch.

The man friend wanted to add that 1. it's not nice to spray paint next to his open office or his trucks  and 2. Don't leave my projects all over the yard. Apparently that makes me an asshole and you should avoid this.